I have a ton of blogging to do. I have really slacked off this month. Since October 18 I have been in an outpatient program. It is much better than the other outpatient program that I have attended in the past but there is something that is still not clicking for me. I am putting forth effort and I am talking and opening up in group, even about issues that I had swore I wouldn’t talk about in a group setting, but feel stuck. It feels like I am missing the “fix” or “cure”. Now don’t get me wrong. I am fully aware that it’s not as easy as writing a prescription. The therapist can’t simply say “do a jig, jump up and down ten times, and recite the serenity prayer in a childlike voice” and then poof, I am cured, but I just feel like all we are doing is figuring out why we are fucked up and then not really spending time on the techniques needed to un-fuck up ourselves. Plus, I have never been completely sold on the group therapy concept, especially when it is the only form of therapy. I really feel like I need to be seeing a therapist one on one at least twice a week right now, but they ask that you don’t see any outside therapists of psychiatrists while in the program (what are we going steady?). This is something that I am going to have to talk to them about on Monday. I either need more out of this relationship or I am going to have to start seeing other people.
Of course there have been some med changes. I am now on Pristiq for depression instead of Lexapro. It is too soon to tell if it is working. My primary care physician also raised my thyroid medication a bit because the levels were a bit off. Maybe that will help with my energy level as well.
There hasn’t been any news regarding my short term disability. I am really trying not to stress about it, which is hard. To make matters worse, The Hubby’s truck broke down on Tuesday and he hasn’t been able to get it fixed. He has done a lot of work to it and can’t seem to find the problem. Of course it broke down at work which is an hour away from the house so he had to have it towed home which was expensive. He and his buddies at work did some work to it in the parking lot and thought they got it running but it broke down about two miles away in the middle of the road and there was no shoulder either. I was scared to death The Hubby was going to get run over. That was a really stressful night. So for the moment we are down to only one car and we are broke thanks to towing expenses and the money we have sunk into trying to fix the truck. It is actually good that I am not working right now because we can’t make our work schedules work with only one car, but I do get out of the outpatient program I am in early enough to get home so The Hubby can take the car to work. We are lucky in that manner.
Thankfully I have my Aunt Lynn who is a huge support to The Hubby and me. She is coming by later to get me so we can run errands and have dinner. It will be so good to see her.
Tiny Giraffe Kisses To Everyone!