One thing that I believe is that every bad circumstance we find ourselves in has a lesson to teach us. With that said, I am trying to figure out what lesson I am meant to learn from the situation I spoke about earlier regarding my coworker. This can be hard because often times the lessons we have to learn are not always easy to swallow. Sometimes we learn things about ourselves that we didn’t really want to know. At this particular moment I am unsure what the lesson of this circumstance is, but I am willing and determined to figure out what it is. No matter how hard the lesson may be to swallow at least it will turn this bad situation into something positive, because if you have learned something from a bad experience then you have turned it into something positive. There is nothing better and more important than knowledge.
This is the first time I have made a pointed effort to learn whatever lesson I feel the universe is trying to teach me, so I am really unsure of how to advance the process. Usually, I give little thought to it and simply wait for something to suddenly dawn on me, but I realize that is the lazy way of going about learning anything.
In order to proceed in the process I guess I could start by asking myself what I could have done differently. There are always many things that one can find in hindsight that should not have been done or should have been done in a different way. My first mistake is one I now realize I often make; I quickly become overly involved with friends. Things in this situation seemed to have happened overnight leaving me startled awake the next morning and groggy throughout the next day then blinded by the sun of truth. It’s not clear to me yet, why I jumped into this situation so fast.
Another thing that has struck me is that I have a bit of a need to “save people”. Whether it is for selfish or unselfish reasons I am unsure. I suspect it is probably for both. Part of it also stems from the fear and belief I have that I am completely unlovable and worthless, so if anyone is ever going to have anything to do with me I am going to have to “be the hero” and “save them” or “buy their love”.
One thing that I did figure out today is that not caring or at least pretending not to care is going to be the best way to handle the situation. Simply shutting down on this person seems to be bothering her more that if I had gotten all upset and in her face, plus it’s simply the more mature way to act.
I plan to continue learning as many lessons as this situation will teach me. That seems the best way to turn this negative situation into a positive one.
Tiny Giraffe Kisses To Everyone!