Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Scarcely Functioning, Hurt and Angry

I am not sure what is going on but I am barely hanging on. Last night and the night before did not prove to be restful in the least. My mind has been cloudy lately and today is really bad. Irritability is at an all time high as well. Productivity is low. I am accomplishing almost nothing at work which is especially irritating because I had a few months that were really good and got caught up, and even a bit ahead on things, but now I am behind and completely lost and overwhelmed. There’s not even enough concentration or focus for me to read, which is really scary. Currently I have about 5 books that I am dying to read but I can’t even get through a few pages.

Then, this afternoon I find out that this woman that I WAS “friends” with at work has been saying some of the ugliest things behind my back, and even lied and said that I was saying bad things about the boss and being disrespectful to the boss. This is all after my hubby and I spent well over $800 for her daughter to be on the drill team, at least $500 for their Christmas, and even more $ on random items for the kids. I even gave her a Coach purse (yes a real one)! What is worse is that she is still expecting me to do the fundraising so that when her daughter’s drill team goes to competition later in the year she won’t have to pay for the trip. If the parents (or in this case the unlucky folks who have been taken advantage of) do the fundraisers then they don’t have to pay for the trip.

So let me get this straight. We pay for your daughter to be on drill team but you can’t even get off of your butt and work concessions at 5 football games so that your daughter can go to competition?

Then there’s the time I paid a cell phone bill for her and she proceeded to yell, scream and cuss at me for not asking her about it first. I realize that I should have asked her, but I did NOT deserve to be talked to the way she talked to me. I even took off of work the next day to go and get the money refunded and then she accused me of not doing “what she told me to do”. Newsflash, I am not one of her children. You don’t get to tell me what to do or boss me around.

I am so hurt and angry about this, and I feel so used. How can people be so mean and heartless? I have done nothing but try and help her and help her kids. To make things even worse is her cubicle is right next to mine so I am almost forced to interact with her daily. It makes me sick. At least I am not the only one she has been screwing over. I found out that she has been taking advantage of the other girls at work and stabbing them in the back as well, so I am trying not to take it personally. Plus, she has admitted to hearing voices and has said several times that other members in her family have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder, so I am also going to chalk a lot of it up to mental instability.

Something has got to give. I am tired, hurt and falling apart.

Tiny Giraffe Kisses To Everyone!

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