Thursday, September 16, 2010

So Far So Good

Well today has been going well so far. Another day of productivity at work and the day isn't even over yet. I am still experiencing a bit of a sore throat and a cough but it's getting better, not worse. Both will probably be gone by tomorrow.
It may seem pessimistic to say this, but I wish I could know how long this good phase will last before I crash and burn. When you have BPD it is inevitable that you will crash and burn as some point no matter how good you have been doing and how long you have been doing good. The most irritating part is you have no idea when that will be and how much “sanity” you have left until all reason, energy and mental wellness drains out of you. Sometimes it is a slow trickle and I feel sanity leaving a small bit at a time and I have time to prepare or prevent, but other times it’s like a dam breaks and the stability and rationality rushes out as the darkness, loneliness and insanity floods me without warning. It’s kind of like hurricanes and tornadoes. Sometimes I get warnings like you do with a hurricane, days in advance with plenty of time for preparations. Other times are like tornadoes, with only minutes or seconds of warning and I have no time to get to a stable structure. For now I will try and enjoy the good times. I sure hope they last.

Tiny Giraffe Kisses To Everyone!!!

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