My World Has Shifted

Starting this blog prompted me to finally read my cousin’s blog. I was in for a blow, a huge blow. She has cervical cancer.


I haven’t been close to her in several years due to a falling out that had to do with our parents and grandparent, none of which was our choice, but being children when it happened we didn’t have a lot of choice about the situation. Nonetheless, this news hit me HARD.

I would like to think we were close when we were young, but I don’t know what her recollection of you younger days is like. Just so much needless family drama (again, having NOTHING to do with my cousin or anything she ever did). I am devastated.

What is weird is I have been having that nagging feeling about getting a well woman exam, which I am ashamed to admit I haven’t done in about 5 years. I guess I will be scheduling that on Monday morning.

I feel helpless though. I have no idea how to help. We are quite opposites in a lot of ways. She has a strong faith which I have never had and don’t really plan on having. She’s a mom of 2 BEAUTIFUL children, and children practically scare the crap out of me. I’m loud and cuss and she is reserved and quite (but NOT boring!). And she is so blasted creative, a visual artist in all ways. I can’t paint a wall black without messing it up. I often wonder why she even wants to reconnect with me. What could I possibly have to offer her?

Tiny Giraffe Kisses To Everyone!